Because I Try to be Balanced

I found this on Facebook. Now, of all the things they could have highlighted in a game about Conan, things like an awesome fantasy setting, exotic locations, high adventure, weird magic, the chance to be a hero; they had to go with violence and people wanting to ban it? I love Conan and the Hyborian Age and everything sword-and-sorcery, and I love video games, and yet this ad still fails to get me the least bit excited for playing this game. Do they really think people are going to devote hours of their lives to something every week just because it's violent? Sometimes I swear the people who write the ads for Facebook are 14. Or they're probably not 14, they probably unhip old dudes trying to fumble blindly at that demographic based on focus groups they didn't understand and what they occasionally overhear their own kids saying. Conan is so much more than just violence, and it's definitely better than just trying to attract attention by being controversial. Come on. That puts it on the same level as GWAR. You don't want to go there. It's about adventure and mystery and heroism and wonder, not about getting your mom angry when she catches you playing it.

I have a better idea for an ad. It goes, "Know, o Prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an Age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread upon the world like blue mantles beneath the stars...."

Now that's something sure to get me hooked.

Don't even get me started why they're using some chick with cleavage instead of Conan himself. Reminds me of that ad with the half-naked woman for some game that was always popping up everywhere a few months ago. Just who is their target audience, considering the game is rated 18+? (That's a rhetorical question.)

Just a Little Friendly Ribbing

So I saw this ad at the bottom of a story by Cracked.com and I got a chuckle out of it, partially because it was on a story about people being obnoxious. The cheerful, clean-cut, good-looking young people embracing, the logo cut off by its own picture, and the general optimism of a dating site gave me a good giggle. Plus there's that motto, "Find God's Match for You", which they're proud enough of to trademark. As though God has a match for me, and this site is the way an all-powerful divine being is going to make that match known to me.



But then I had a weird idea. Dating sites usually (not that I'd know) have a drop-down menu that allows me to search for various combinations of sexes. For instance, there's usually the option of male/female searching for male/female/both. Some of the sites even have transgendered or "other" options. So I got curious: what would the sexuality options be like on this squeaky-clean Christian site? So I just had to click the link.



Yep. I reckon.